Wednesday to Friday

Had a cuppa & a chat with The In-Laws - very pleasant 2 hours. Ironed 5 shirts. Walked dog once for 20 minutes. Visited Dad & sister for a total of 5 hours. Did food shopping, that was tiring and I had to stop once and hold on and breathe. Stretching exercises every day. Hung washing out a couple of times. Made a few phone calls which I find tiring. Paid deposit on new bathroom. Bit more shopping. Bit more Maths work.

Gosh doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's all pretty tiring.

A few more days

I feel a lot better than I did on 8th August. Who am I to question pain, life, Earth, The Universe? It really isn't helpful to let negative thoughts in - if thoughts are like buses then I need to choose the ones I engage with and let the others pass by. It's hard to do this and it needs effort, which when you're suffering in pain is hard. I need to know what I need to do when I realise the blanket of negative buses is descending.
So, I've ironed 5 shirts, taken the dog for 2x 20 minute walks, attended a hospital appointment, visited Mum & Dad, made 2 dates for tea & chat, completed more Maths work, had a new boiler fitted, applied for a loan, considered my Sky package, cleaned a window, filed my course notes, read a whole book 400 pages, made a timetable of red, amber and green activities for September, checked emails every day, and mindful stretching exercises every day.

I need to record achievements more frequently otherwise it's too much effort to try to remember what I've done.

Decision

I have decided that I can't write my blog every day and I shouldn't feel bad if I don't. After all, it's all about achievements, it's supposed to be a positive exercise. The thing is, I'm having real difficulty being non judgemental. I can see all the good reasons why being non judgemental is helpful and that I need to strive for it every day. I need to make a conscious effort all the time to avoid making judgments and also to see the difference between a fact and a judgment. I remember a few years ago now, a university lecture all about what goes without saying. So true. There are so many things that I take for granted and accept without even thinking about them because that's how it is, that's how it's always been, that's the only way it can be... So not true - so needs to be challenged.

So this is me, making a conscious effort to challenge all those things that go without saying and making constant judgements. If I can stop making judgments all the time then perhaps I can enjoy each moment for its simplicity. I'm here, sometimes I wonder why I'm here, I often wonder why I've got CRPS and at the moment this electricity shooting up and down my left arm and chest, but I am here and most of the time it's good and pleasant and I should enjoy every moment of it.

The Weekend

Yesterday I did my 25 minutes mindful stretching exercises before I drove to see my Dad, and my Mum was home from her jaunt. I chatted to them for nearly 2 hours and then visited my sister and chatted for another 2 hours. I then drove home and started my maths task. I couldn't really concentrate and that was making it so much more difficult.
I looked at some planning for next year and produced 2 weekly plans already. I also started to look at our overview for Literacy. I stopped this when I realised I needed to refer to the new curriculum to make sure the overview is relevant and up to date. So I stopped, put the laptop away and watched a bit of TV before going to bed.


Today I started with 25 minutes mindful stretching exercises. We then went to the retail park, my husband drove. We walked around 3 large stores and then drove to the regional shopping centre. Here we walked around 5 shops and hubby bought the trainers he wanted. It was getting busy so we decided to go to our local shops to sit down and have a drink and pick up a couple of bits of food from M & S.
All this was quite tiring so I sat down when we got home. Later I got the laptop out and checked emails, started my maths task which I'm pleased with how far I've got and now I'm writing my blog. I've sorted through a pile of papers and filed, recycled and shredded.

Tired now and my hand and arm are full of electricity, as indeed is the left side of my chest.

Work

On Monday I had to go to my GP to get permission to be on school premises while I'm signed off on long term sick leave. I need to find all my stuff that classroom assistants helpfully packed into boxes for me. I'm gradually finding my stuff. I had to rummage for my books but we found a lot of them. My son is helping me - he follows all my instructions while I'm sitting and resting. Last day tomorrow and then school is shut until the end of the holiday. I have 4 boxes to be unpacked and we've already unpacked 4. We've found new homes for the stuff so far.
I ironed 4 shirts. I've done a few loads of washing and hung it out. I've driven to school & back a few times. I've done a couple of trips to the shops and the bank - it's my son's 21st birthday and my sister's 50th birthday.
I'm too tired to remember - I'm going to start to write my blog in  the morning after I've done my mindful stretching exercises as I'm too tired in the afternoon

One of those days

Yesterday was one of those days. I try not to call them good days and bad days because that implies positivity and negativity. So yesterday, I did my mindful stretching exercises as soon as I was up and dressed. I then drove to the Medical Centre. I want to go to school in the Summer holiday to move classroom and set up my new classroom. My employer says they need something in writing from the doctor saying I'm fit to do this even though I intend to sit on a chair and direct my helpers! The receptionist said I probably need a fit for work certificate and I need to see the GP. The first appointment she could offer me is for Monday 22nd July at 5pm. This means I will already have lost a day and school is only open until Friday 26th July. But it is open again Tuesday 27th August so I suppose I could go in then if I run out of time at the beginning. The thing is, I want to limit the time I spend there otherwise I will get too tired which sometimes means more pain.

I'll 'phone the Medical Centre and see if I can pick up a cancellation any earlier than the 22nd. I've an exciting opportunity to work on the new Maths Curriculum on Friday 26th July so I won't be available that day. So after I'd finished speaking to the receptionist I picked up my prescription from the chemist. I dropped everything on the floor in the chemist and I wasn't flustered or embarrassed so that is another achievement for me. I calmly picked up everything and slowly walked back to the car.

When I got home I did  a mindful full body scan and some mindful breathing. I relaxed in the chair in the sunshine. I spent most of the day resting or mindfully exercising and breathing. In the evening I accompanied my son to a presentation event where he was awarded Players' Player which we are both very proud of. It means his peers voted for him which is a great compliment and they said some really nice things about him and why they had voted for him. I drove there and back and then was really pleased to be in bed asleep.

I'm awake early but feel ok. Today I am travelling to Hastings with my sister on the trains. We are spending some quality time together. I'm sure we will talk and not stop talking for the whole weekend! And it should be sunny weather too - bonus! I won't write anymore this weekend because we are travelling very light and I'm not taking any means to blog. I might write some things on paper so I'll transfer that on Monday. I am taking my Springboard book so that we can compare notes and talk about some of the ideas and activities. So I'll be back on Monday with all the news from the weekend...
PS I've started writing an information sheet aimed at children to explain my syndrome, how it affects me and how they can help. I'll be working on that at the weekend too with the input from my sister. We will also compile a list of worse case scenarios for work ready for my meeting with my Head regarding a risk assessment of me at work.

Here I am!

I didn't realise I hadn't written anything since Thursday! I was working on some of the pages on Friday so that's an achievement. I also had a long conversation with HR which was very reassuring. She knew the laws and procedures involved and assured me that her role is neutral and advisory. I shall wait and see.
I've done quite a few machine wash loads and it's all dry and put away. I've been soaking up the wonderful vitamin D and of course watching the tennis at Wimbledon. Glued to the set! And there's cricket to watch next week as the Ashes starts.
I took the dog out for a walk by myself, we didn't go too far as I had to wait until the weather had cooled down and therefore it was getting late.
Today I drove to see my Mum & Dad. It's about a 20 minute drive. My son came with me so that I wasn't driving alone, plus he wanted to visit them too. On our way home we did a bit of shopping. It was probably a bit too much altogether and I had awful pain for a while. I found that doing my mindful stretching exercises worked to distract me from the pain and also I felt better afterwards. Note to self: even if you don't feel like it - gentle, mindful stretching exercise helps.
I read a few more chapters of my women's springboard book but it wasn't really going in - I need to concentrate on it and do the activities. I think the sun and the work situation were distracting me.
The weekend away with my sister is all booked so that's something to look forward to.
I have a busy week ahead but I'll write about it as it happens. I also have a list of things to do, phone calls to make, places to go. This will be a test of how much I've really recovered and how much I can achieve. And what the effects will be.
I carried a cup in each hand for a few seconds. I sorted out our home insurance and got us a much cheaper deal with a well known company. I've vacuumed a couple of times.
I'm having dizzy spells (pre-syncope) again. I think about the fairground roads I used to have a go on years ago; the spinning ones like the Waltzer car. Hold on tight, we're going for a ride!
I must remember to write every day although it has to fit into my back to work plan so that might have to be reviewed. I'll work out what is feasible...
I'm quite pleased with my new pages and I've given lots of information about CRPS to a friend who thinks her mum might be suffering with it in her feet. She's seen so many specialists and is getting very frustrated; sound familiar? She is negative about taking any medication but so was I two and a half years ago - things change, life changes...

Getting the Hang of Blogging

Aha! I'm getting the hang of this blogging thing a bit. I've been looking at other blogs, trying to pick up hints and stuff. So my first achievement today is creating tabs. I want my blog to look interesting. So I'm going to put pictures on and jazz it up a bit.

I really need to finish those reports first so I can concentrate some time to my blog. I'm going to set myself a deadline of tomorrow evening to get them done. I'm visiting my Dad today but I still think it's a manageable deadline - I'm pretty close.