hmm... telling...

So I went back to school on the 3rd September and haven't blogged since the 5th - very telling of how busy I've been. And I haven't got time to blog now because I have Maths books to mark. So achievements - yes many - time to record them - 0.
Not sure what I can do about this except put some time aside at the weekend. Family life is also very busy so really not sure that's the answer. Just goes to show how hard it is to be managing a condition and working full time with a family also...

A whole week!

So much for my resolution writing more often, I've left it a whole week this time. Where to start? On Saturday I had to travel to London for one of my pain management group sessions. As always it was very useful. But is a long day and the journey is tiring. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I went into school for a couple of hours each day to familiarise myself with school, my classroom, the people, and the journey there. On Wednesday my son rearranged the room for me and finished off any lifting or carrying so that on Thursday and Friday I was able to go into school on my own and get my brain back into school.
We've been food shopping again, very slow. I have visited my sister and my mum and dad stop I think I find five shirts and I have done loads of washing. Hubby and I have walked the dog very slowly a few times. Today we had to queue for the uniform shop as my son needed a new blazer. I picked my other son up from the station with his stuff and then took my other son to have his hair cut and buy new shoes for school.
I can't remember what else I've done and now I'm feeling tired – it's my first day at school tomorrow.

A new thing to add to my list

Today, I had my finger nails and my toe nails shaped and polished at the beauty salon. Lovely. My finger nails had grown so much in such a short time - part of the syndrome - either brittle and breaking or growing manically. And I have such difficulty doing them myself and as I have no daughters to do them for me. It's the first time I've ever had my toe nails done but it was so lovely and they look pretty now. Added that to my list of 50 new things to do before I'm 50 years old. So cheered me up. The weather's not cheering me up - raining all day. It's supposed to be really hot on Thursday. British weather!
I did my 25 minutes mindful stretching exercises this morning - they really do get me up and going every day. And because they're mindful they are having a good effect on my mood too. My hand has been really painful for a few days now - like electricity running through continuously. My chest has been less painful though.

Yesterday I did 25 minutes mindful stretching exercises and took the dog for a 20 minutes walk as fast as I could walk. Hubby drove me to town where we went to the bank, the chemist and the beauty salon. We walked back to the car. I did dome more planning for September and read quite a lot of the new national curriculum final draft. There is a handy glossary of terms in the English section. Thankfully nothing new to me but I think it will be very useful to some of my colleagues. I did some more work on the maths task. Restless legs - went to sleep at 9pm.

Borrowed Spoons

Yesterday I got up at 6.30am.
I got washed and dressed.
I did 25 minutes mindful stretching exercises with the DVD ( my theories on mirror therapy - Wednesday 17 July 2013)
I drove my son to his work experience placement and then drove myself to work by 8.45am.
I watched the last whole school assembly of the academic year.
I had photos taken with my football team and with my class.
I said goodbye to my class and wished them good luck etc. for their new schools in September.
They gave me a group hug but I had to squeal, " one at a time!!"
I talked to a few people and drove home.
In the evening, I got a lift to a restaurant where I had dinner with about 20 work colleagues.
I had to wait 2 hours for dinner, by which time I was ready to come home! I think because we were a large group and quite a few were drinking expensive cocktails, they delayed our dinner for as long as they thought they could get away with. Also, most of our group had a starter, I so wished I had!
I chatted to most people; one lovely conversation somehow turned into a very long debate about food, why do people always want to talk about food to vegetarians? It made me feel quite sick, bit fortunately I was able to turn my head and talk to different people about the prospects for a bride in an orthodox Jewish wedding. I got a lift home.

Today, I dragged myself out of bed.
I did 25 minutes mindful stretches with the DVD and also 15 minutes body scan. I had to stop the body scan as I began to feel unwell.
I took the dog for a walk before it got too hot, 20 minutes.
I've now spent quite a long time searching the web about a new treatment that has been mentioned to me: NAET. The thing is people quite often want to feel helpful so they suggest all kinds of treatments and theories etc. I know they are trying to be helpful but I find it hard to stay positive and accept my condition when so many people seem to know the cure. It makes me feel again that there's nothing wrong with me and it's all in my head and any one of these suggestions will cure me.

I also found the spoon theory that I like http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
and this
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/sick-humor/sick-humor-the-top-ten-worst-suggestions-commonly-given-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness/
Haha I need to laugh!!!
The internet might be a minefield but it is also a saviour.

WooHoo!

Had the most fantastic weekend with my sister. And it was a huge achievement - loads of achievements:-

1. Travelled by train all the way to Hastings which included walking up and down several lots of stairs, being among crowds, walking in between stations (we had to use 4 trains).
2. We had to find our hotel which involved thinking and walking.
3. We were too early to check in so we found a cute bistro called Bullet to have a delicious lunch.
4. We walked up and down the seafront, sitting every so often when we needed to.
5. We travelled in the East Hill Lift up to the country park to admire the wonderful view. We travelled down in the lift. (there were stairs - eek! exhausting)
6. We checked in and then walked to the Italiano restaurant to have dinner.
7. We walked back. I don't know how far we walked on Saturday but it seemed a lot. Perhaps I need a pedometer so I know in future how far I've walked so I can make comparisons.
8. Woken too early by noisy guests! Up, dressed and out to find breakfast.
9. We didn't have to walk too far to find Pam's café with lots of choice for breakfast.
10. We then found deckchairs piled up on the beach, so we took one each and carried it towards the sea. Again we didn't have to walk too far before we found a good spot and sat down.
11. We did our exercises.
12. We sat and chatted for hours.
13. We then paddled in the sea before we filled our water bottles and walked towards the Seagull restaurant where we had a scrumptious lunch.
14. We then found the Old Town - a cute selection of little individual shops.
15. We then had to ask which way to the train station! We walked there and didn't have to wait too long.
16. 4 trains later, hubby picked me up at the station and I was home.

Brilliant!
I forgot to say we had a drink in a pub with masses of flowers in hanging baskets...can't remember the name of it, and worked on my letter to children and worse case scenarios as well! on Saturday and then on Sunday we talked about Springboard and did some of the activities.

I had a quiet day today! Still did 2 loads of washing and hung it out to dry, and then enjoyed the sunshine.

One of those days

Yesterday was one of those days. I try not to call them good days and bad days because that implies positivity and negativity. So yesterday, I did my mindful stretching exercises as soon as I was up and dressed. I then drove to the Medical Centre. I want to go to school in the Summer holiday to move classroom and set up my new classroom. My employer says they need something in writing from the doctor saying I'm fit to do this even though I intend to sit on a chair and direct my helpers! The receptionist said I probably need a fit for work certificate and I need to see the GP. The first appointment she could offer me is for Monday 22nd July at 5pm. This means I will already have lost a day and school is only open until Friday 26th July. But it is open again Tuesday 27th August so I suppose I could go in then if I run out of time at the beginning. The thing is, I want to limit the time I spend there otherwise I will get too tired which sometimes means more pain.

I'll 'phone the Medical Centre and see if I can pick up a cancellation any earlier than the 22nd. I've an exciting opportunity to work on the new Maths Curriculum on Friday 26th July so I won't be available that day. So after I'd finished speaking to the receptionist I picked up my prescription from the chemist. I dropped everything on the floor in the chemist and I wasn't flustered or embarrassed so that is another achievement for me. I calmly picked up everything and slowly walked back to the car.

When I got home I did  a mindful full body scan and some mindful breathing. I relaxed in the chair in the sunshine. I spent most of the day resting or mindfully exercising and breathing. In the evening I accompanied my son to a presentation event where he was awarded Players' Player which we are both very proud of. It means his peers voted for him which is a great compliment and they said some really nice things about him and why they had voted for him. I drove there and back and then was really pleased to be in bed asleep.

I'm awake early but feel ok. Today I am travelling to Hastings with my sister on the trains. We are spending some quality time together. I'm sure we will talk and not stop talking for the whole weekend! And it should be sunny weather too - bonus! I won't write anymore this weekend because we are travelling very light and I'm not taking any means to blog. I might write some things on paper so I'll transfer that on Monday. I am taking my Springboard book so that we can compare notes and talk about some of the ideas and activities. So I'll be back on Monday with all the news from the weekend...
PS I've started writing an information sheet aimed at children to explain my syndrome, how it affects me and how they can help. I'll be working on that at the weekend too with the input from my sister. We will also compile a list of worse case scenarios for work ready for my meeting with my Head regarding a risk assessment of me at work.

Another Busy Day

So, yesterday I was up, dressed, done all my mindful exercises and out of the front door by 8.30am. Number one achievement.
I had a lift to school so that I could watch the Leavers Concert. It's the first time I've been to school since I left in an ambulance with a suspected heart attack. Person after person hugged and greeted me with smiles and compliments. As I walked into the hall all the children waved at me and smiled and greeted me, it was lovely - all those smiley faces so pleased to see me.
I laughed and cried my way through the concert and it was really quite emotionally tiring. I then collected my new class for September and spent approximately an hour with them, asking and answering questions and learning about them. I'm very excited about September.
I then went to the staffroom and there were even more people happy to see me.
It was fantastic and I feel I really achieved a big step. I was very tired and glad to have a lift home. My chauffeur came in for a cup of tea and a quick chat. Very interesting because she is currently having a phased return to work after treatment. She is finding it quite tough and is shocked by how tired she is and she hasn't managed a full day yet and she's not been in class for more than two hours at a time. She is very concerned about September and being expected to hit the ground running. She had already decided to reduce her hours before her illness but even so she is very worried.
It really helped talking to her because I am just accepting that I too will find it too difficult to hit the ground running.
While saying goodbye to her the front door slammed on me - I was locked out! She wasn't able to help so I knocked on my neighbour's door and asked for help. This is a big achievement for me as I didn't hesitate to ask for help and I would've found that very difficult in the past. My neighbour is taller than both of us so she was able to help. Lucky the back door was open!
After all this excitement I drove to two schools briefly to gain information and picked up my son from school.

Today I had an appointment with Human Resource and my Head. I was allowed to invite a supporter so my sister was there too. The meeting took place in my house, in my sitting room. My dog just slept through it. The meeting lasted two hours as we discussed the plan for my return to work. I had prepared notes about all my proposals and what is important to me. I started off very talkative but did start to feel tired and gradually spoke less. I'm glad my sister was there as she had my best interests at heart and spoke eloquently on my behalf when necessary. The HR lady was a good source of knowledge and suggestions. I was pleased with the outcome of the meeting as there is a clear plan in place with scheduled reviews .
I am now tired.

Pain Management

Well...today I travelled to London and back on my own.
Firstly, I drove my son to school. Then I took the dog for a walk around the block which was about 15 minutes - must get my self something to measure distance or is time more helpful? Hmm.. I'll have to decide.
Then I walked to the station and travelled on the train, and then walked from the station to the hospital. The Pain Management course/group was as helpful and useful as ever. I really need to try and understand how the nervous system works so I can explain it to someone else - that's my test that I have understood something - if I can explain it then I must understand it.
I'm now very tired so I'll finish this post tomorrow...